March 11, 2010 Women & Clothes Here are the results from a new poll taken by Talbots. - Only 6% said they wear all of their clothes on a regular basis. - 42% admitted to buying clothes they planned to fit into when they lose weight. - 33% said that the clothes in their closet were too small. - 36% said they owned unworn apparel that needed to be tailored. - 20% said their unworn clothes no longer suited their lifestyle. Posted by Warvel at 1:30 AM

March 10, 2010 Things I've Learned Do you have something in your life that never fails to take you back to your younger years? I hope so. It's a wonderful feeling...the kind that makes you start grinning like an idiot even when you're alone. I do and I think I'll be experiencing that this afternoon...as long as the rain holds off. I'm going to ride my motorcycle for the first time this year. Even 55 degrees is a bit chilly when you doing 55 on a bike, but that's part of my stroll down memory lane. My birthday is November 16th so it was a chilly November day when I first rode a motorcycle (legally) on the road. I didn't even have a leather jacket and was shivering but I was empowered and free and doing something I loved. To this day, being on my bike with a chill in the air immediately makes me 16 again. And when you're out when there's still snow on the ground it makes you feel like you're getting away with something and that puts a smile on your face, too. So look out, there's going to be a wrinkly 16 year old cruising around today with a stupid smile on his face. And tomorrow there's going to be a grimacing older guy whose back hurts even more than usual...but it's still worth it. Posted by Warvel at 7:30 AM

March 10, 2010 Are You Straight? When it comes to their hair, more than two-thirds of women prefer it to be straight rather than curly reports Britain's Daily Mail of a poll of 2,500 women. The recent poll also found that the hair color most women prefer is brunette (43%) followed by blonde (33%) and red (12%). And get this, the average woman plunks down almost $70,000 in her lifetime on hair products, styling and coloring, as well as just under two years of her life washing, styling, cutting, coloring, crimping and straightening her hair at home and in salons. In a single day, the typical woman spends about 40 minutes on her hair. Posted by Warvel at 1:30 AM

March 9, 2010 Things I've Learned Things in the water scare me. I'm fine in the woods but critters in the sea can sneak up on you too easily. A buddy of mine is a dive master and had pestered me for years to learn scuba. When he found out I had gone parachuting instead he said, "Why would you jump out of a perfectly good plane?" I said, "Because nothing is going to eat, sting, stab or shock me in the air. That's why I stay in perfectly good boats." I had always thought the fear only concerned the ocean but a few years back I learned that it could be any water, just different reasons. I was at the "beach" out by Warvel State Park. When I say "beach," I'm referring to the expanse of rocks from the water's edge to the base of the bluff. Anyway I was down there with my dog on a really hot day so I got in the water. It was pretty rough that day but I was only in to my chest and had turned around to see what the dog was doing. That's when something heavy bumped me in the back. Suddenly I remembered the plane that had crashed into Lake Erie a week or two earlier over by Ashtabula and the fact that they hadn't recovered one of the bodies. You will never witness a person leaving the water faster than I did. I could have beat Michael Phelps that day. It was like one of those cartoons where there was a rooster tail behind me. It even scared the dog. When I was safely on shore .07 seconds later I turned around to see if a corpse was floating where I had been. It was a railroad tie. Hey, I don't know what water logged bodies feel like. I have been back in since then, but only on calm days when the water is clear...and no one is missing. Posted by Warvel at 10:30 AM

March 9, 2010 Embarrassed? According to a poll conducted by GfK Roper Public Affairs and Media for CreditCards.com, 82% of U.S. adults are reluctant to openly discuss their credit card debts, followed by 78% who said sex was the most off-limits as a topic of conversation. Here's the top 10 taboo topics we don't want to discuss: 1. Credit card debt 2. Sex 3. Salary 4. Monthly mortgage or rent payments 5. Health problems 6. Death of a loved one 7. Weight 8. Religious views 9. Political views 10. Age Posted by Warvel at 1:30 AM

March 8, 2010 Things I've Learned You have to get quite a few years under your belt before you understand that you can't just plunge into something you've never done before and expect it to turn out well. One example might be custom motorcycle painting. Years ago, despite the fact that I had absolutely no experience and had never even talked to anyone who painted vehicles, I dove right in because I had browsed through a pamphlet about it. What could possibly go wrong? So I stripped down my gas tank to bare metal, bought some spray paint cans and went at it. It was crude at best, but it was custom so I was happy...until the first warm day when I discovered it all softened up. All of a sudden I had imprints of the wrinkles of my pants from where my knees touched. You could also do thumb prints or a full hand so it looked kind of like a child's Thanksgiving turkey drawing. Live and learn, right? Except I didn't. I stripped her down and repainted for a couple more years until I finally gave up. I suppose another example might be my photography. Have you ever seen those really cool pictures of racecars where it's all blurry except the front portion of the car? I wanted to get some shots like that, so I went up to Watkins Glen for a race (back when they still had the Grand Prix) and took a whole bunch of shots of cars probably doing about 130 miles an hour. I tried different shutter speeds. I tried different angles. I even tried sweeping the camera as the cars went by. What I got was a whole bunch of pictures of empty track. There wasn't a car in any of them. Thank God I've never had an urge to try surgery...but it can't be that difficult, right? Posted by Warvel at 9:00 AM

March 8, 2010 Germophobia! Here are the stats according to "Self": - 25% avoid public pools, hot tubs and steam rooms - this is a little paranoid. Prudent to enjoy a swim, soak or steam, says Harley Rotbart, M.D., a physician in Denver. Just choose pools and hot tubs where you can smell the chlorine. Avoid exposing cuts or sores, don't share towels and wear flip flops in the steam room, where it's easy to pick up athlete's foot. - 23% avoid using a shared pen or stylus - this is a little paranoid. Prudent is not worrying about it. "The germs that cause most infections live for as little as a few minutes on dry surfaces," Dr Rotbart says. They live for up to 2 days on moist ones. Avoid touching your face before you wash your hands and you reduce to near zero the chances of catching anything from surfaces. - 58% wash hands after touching anything communal - this is a little paranoid. It would be impossible or obsessive if taken literally. Hand sanitizer can be useful to have in your car, handbag or desk, Dr. Rotbart says, "But no need to use excessively: only when you would wash if a sink were handy." - 52% drink only out of straws in restaurants - this is a little paranoid. There's no need to use straws, Dr. Rotbart says: just don't share utensils or drink from a friend's glass. However, salt shakers can be a germ hot spot, if an earlier eater had a cold. Shakers aren't wiped down as often as tables. The overall risk is low, though, so spice things up. - 59% hover and don't sit when using public toilets - this is a little paranoid. "There are no butt-borne diseases," says Chuck Gerba, Ph.D., professor at the University of Arizona in Tucson. And that's true even when the seat has been, er, sprinkled. Faucets are a likelier source of infection, because people touch them before they've washed up. Use a paper towel to turn them off. - 16% avoid events with germy children is a little paranoid. "All kids are germy; so are all adults," Dr. Rotbart says. Have fun with the kids and wash your and their hands with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds when you get home, or use hand sanitizer after the event. - 53% avoid doorknobs or elevator buttons - this is a little paranoid. More people touch the lobby button than anywhere else on the keypad. To avoid cold and flu, don't touch your face and wash up when you get home. Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM

March 5, 2010 Things I've Learned Mankind has a strong survival instinct. I know this because of my best friend, Doug. Doug used to come up with really stupid, usually dangerous ideas of things we could do and I would say, "Okay." One year in college I shared a lakeside cottage with two other guys. It was a small lake maybe 10 miles away from campus and the rent was cheap because it was a summer cottage they only rented in the winter. Talk about cold...let's just say you learned how to get dressed under your covers before getting out of bed. Anyway, Doug was out there one night during the winter and suddenly said, "Hey, let's see if we can walk across the lake!" Understand that this was after a warm spell and then a sudden cold snap. Some of the ice was opaque and definitely thick enough but much of it was dark, clear ice so you couldn't tell if it was one inch or 10. We had no flashlights, just the moon, so it was a really bad idea. I said, "Okay." Anyway, I saw Doug's survival instinct kick in about halfway across. When he heard me breaking through the ice he took off running without even turning around to see exactly what happened to me! If I had broken all the way through and was drowning I think I might have been a little P.O.'d, but I had only put a foot and part of my leg through a crusted over ice fisherman's hole. He only stopped running when he heard me laughing hysterically. True friends are like that. They'll stop running away from you when they realize there's no immediate threat to them. Posted by Warvel at 10:30 AM

March 5, 2010 What's The Most Irritating Invention? That question was asked of 2,500 adult Britons and here's the top five: 1. Karaoke machines (22%) 2. 24-hour sports channels (17%) 3. Computer game consoles (12%) 4. Cell phones (11%) 5. Alarm clocks (7%) Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM

March 4, 2010 Things I've Learned Sometimes it's better not to ask questions. There's a watering hole in the west county called The Girard Café...right there on Main Street in Girard. You can't miss it...it's got a sign and everything. It was established years ago by a feisty guy named Ralphie. But no one calls it Girard Café...everyone calls it Ralphie's. I'd been going in there for a number of years and had become friends with Ralphie's son, Buddy, who by then was running the show. One day I said, "Buddy, why didn't your dad name this place Ralphie's? Everyone calls it that." He said, "Oh, his name's not Ralphie." "Okay...then why does everyone call him Ralphie?" Buddy said, "That's because Dad could never remember anyone's name. So when someone came in, he'd say, 'What can I get you, Ralphie?' Everyone got renamed Ralphie. Pretty soon everyone started calling him Ralphie and then the business." Alrighty then. There was a lull and then I said, "But you are Buddy, right?" He said, "No. My name's Paul." I said, "Why does everyone call you Buddy?" He said, "I don't know." I quit asking questions. Posted by Warvel at 10:30 AM

March 4, 2010 She's A Sole Sister The top secret most American women keep from the man in their life is not about sex, or past boyfriends, or money. It's the number of shoes they own, according to a poll by the Consumer Reports National Research Center. The average American woman owns 19 pairs of shoes, even though she only wears four pairs regularly. 15% of women own more than 30 pairs of shoes. Want more? - Women buy, on average, four pairs of shoes a year. - 13% of women admit to hiding a purchase from their partner. - 60% of women regret at least one shoe purchase. - 43% admit they had been at least moderately injured by shoes. Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM

March 3, 2010 Things I've Learned Getting burgled sucks. As in, someone breaking into your house, ransacking it and stealing stuff, burgled. (Hey, how funny is this? When I wrote that just now I assumed it wasn't really a word, but it is. Darn it.) Anyway I know this because of the cowardly, idiot thieves who smashed a back window out of my house a few years ago. Judging by the dents in the frame, these morons used a crowbar to try and pry open my sliding glass door but were thwarted by the little, plastic toy bat I leave in the bottom of the track. Who knew? The footprints on the glass seemed to indicate they felt maybe they could kick it in, but apparently that didn't work, either. So they went around back and smashed in a window to open the door to my utility room. First of all you have to understand my house isn't exactly screaming, "I'm rich! I have valuable things!" No, my house mutters, "Everything in here is worn out, including the carpet and the inhabitant." But these Einstein's came in anyway to be greeted by my worn out dog who was probably pleasantly surprised to have visitors after I had left that morning. Being the professionals that they obviously were, they went through an upstairs closet and emptied out a Monopoly box because, hey, there might be real money mixed in with the fake money. They also went through and emptied the drawers of my dresser (where, ironically, I keep my drawers) and the shelves of my closet. For all their effort, what they ultimately got was my pile of spare change off the top of the dresser and one of several bottles of prescription medications on my kitchen counter. What they selected was a medicine for high blood pressure. If they were hoping it would get them high they must have been very disappointed to find that all they got was an urge to pee a lot more. Oh, and one more thing...the thing that bothered me the most to lose. They didn't steal my sense of security or faith in mankind. They stole one of my pillow cases to carry the coins in. I only had one pair of matching pillow cases and these jerks stole one of them! To this day, that still ticks me off. Actually I would normally use a different word than ticks, but I'm off that medication now and don't need to go as much. Posted by Warvel at 10:00 AM

March 3, 2010 The Deep Freeze No, not outside...in your refrigerator. It's National Frozen Food Month -- How long will frozen food keep? - Frozen dinners -- three to four months. - Ground beef and turkey -- three months. - Bacon, unopened -- one month. - Roasts -- six to twelve months. - Whole fish -- five to six months. - Fish fillets -- four to five months. - Shellfish -- four to six months. - Whole chicken or turkey -- twelve months. - Chicken or turkey pieces -- nine months. - Cooked poultry -- four months. Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM

March 2, 2010 Things I've Learned You can only keep an eye closed for so long. I know this, but apparently Grandpa Turley didn't. He was my mom's father and he was an Irish, one-eyed Methodist minister. Actually, he was Dr. Roy H. Turley and when I was little he ran a hospital in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I only saw him a few times so I think I was in Junior High School before I found out he wasn't the medical doctor I assumed he was. No Grey's Anatomy sweaty wrestling in the on-call rooms for him...he was a man of the cloth. He did have only one eye, however, but he didn't lie to me like Grandpa Warvel who claimed he lost his finger in a sword fight in World War One. (I didn't find out the truth about that one until I was in college.) No, Grandpa Turley's left eye was poked out by a bull's horn when he was a young man, but instead of getting a glass eye or wearing a patch, he just kept that eyelid closed...which brings us back to my original statement. I remember the exact moment I learned that you can only keep an eye closed for so long. It was Thanksgiving and they were visiting us in Corning. We were eating turkey with all the trimmings...including mashed potatoes and gravy. That's important. I was seated to Grandpa's left and at some point I glanced up at him and discovered his eyelid partially open. It had been a long day. He was tired. I had a mouthful of mashed potatoes and gravy. Have you ever looked into an eye socket...while your mouth is full of mashed potatoes and gravy? Didn't think so. Don't do it. Posted by Warvel at 10:00 AM

March 2, 2010 Angry? Everyone handles it differently. Here's what the experts say: - People are always letting me down and never take my side -- You're a blamer who expects others always to be in agreement with you. Stop nitpicking and start accepting others' weaknesses. - I'm upset but I won't admit it to the person who wounded me -- You're a pouter who'd rather sulk than speak up. Get comfortable with your feelings, be honest and let others know what's bothering you. - Blowing off steam by saying all the things I feel is how I deal -- You're a venter who releases your feelings with a volcanic explosion. Rein in your anger by sucking on a piece of candy or gum. - I'm rarely angry because if I get upset, I don't want to discuss it -- You're an avoider with an unhealthy habit of suppressing rather than expressing your anger. Root out your fear of confrontation by discussing your feelings with a pal. Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM

March 1, 2010 Things I've Learned Not all circus elephant riding experiences are the same. I know this because when Levi was about 3, the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey Circus came to town. Back then, the elephants arrived by rail down on the bay front...before the bay front highway. They wanted Frank Martin and me to ride in the circus parade from the bay front, up State Street to the brand-new Civic Center. I imagine the answer would be different these days, but when I asked if my son could ride with me, they said, "Sure!" It was pretty cool but I will say you're up a lot higher than you imagined and hanging on to your only son from atop a giant, lurching pachyderm you start to think stuff like, "If I drop him, how am I gonna explain that to his mother?" So that was a great experience. Levi got the thrill of his young life and I got to hang out with and ride next to a hot circus showgirl wearing a feathered headdress. How many times do you get that opportunity? However, the second time I rode an elephant was when the Great American Circus was in town, set up out in Fairview. My buddy, Fritz Schneider and I went out to represent the station and discovered a much more, um, compact operation. We were outside the tent talking to a midget clown who was swearing like a sailor over the money he just lost at the horse track when a rusty old station wagon pulled up with the circus's headliner...Tiny Tim. I'm not even going to try and explain what Tiny Tim was all about...you'll have to Google him. Anyway, he was at the rock bottom of the brief and bizarre singing career that he had...slouched in this rusty old car with his long hair all matted and greasy. That's when they came out and told us we were on. They took us inside, put us on top of their two elephants and led them around a tiny little ring. The audience was looking at us like, who are they? We were each thinking, why are we here? It was embarrassing...they could have at least given us sparkly, spandex outfits and feathered headdresses. So I retired from circus elephant riding shortly after that...actually, right after that. You gotta know when to walk away. Posted by Warvel at 9:30 AM

March 1, 2010 Be Proud Of Your Parenting Here are 10 reasons you are a better parent than you think you are: (from Parenting) 1. You are the best mommy or daddy in the world for your child - Regardless of what the experts or anyone else says, in your child's eyes you are their one and only. If you can live up to that kind of love and acceptance, you'll be happier for it. 2. You trust your gut - Most of us try not to get too worried or upset by the proliferation of news stories about lead-poisoned toys or tragic stories of kidnapped children, but it's not very easy. When push comes to shove, your gut can be your guide. If you feel more than a tingle of doubt, you'll do the right thing by your child. You're wired that way. 3. You give the best love you know how to give - Love isn't perfect or always kind, but you want to be a good parent and you try every day to be the best parent you know how to be. 4. You feed them every day - Not always meals with enough vegetables or fruit, but you feed them, and you worry about their health. And that makes you a good parent. 5. You smile at them, beam even, and they make you proud - When you smile at your child (and you know you do, often) you are transmitting your love and tenderness. Kids are sponges and they feel every iota of that sweetness. 6. You teach them about wonderful things -- You fill their heads with the wishes of childhood -- Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and other wonderful creatures. Even if they don't believe you, their eyes light up with the spark of imagination. 7. You love them unconditionally, even when you don't like them very much - Most kids know that you love them no matter what. Even when they have tantrums in the grocery store and hit their sister or brother and refuse to eat their dinner. Even then you love them deeply. 8. You comfort them when they're scared - Monsters, bad dreams, and things that go bump in the night hold no power over the comfort of your arms and your murmured reassurance. 9. You want your child to be happy - Almost more than anything else, you want to see evidence that your child is happy, well-adjusted, and secure. You want this for them more than you want it for yourself. 10. You are their one true love - For so many years, you are your child's sun, moon, and stars. You are the keeper of their small open hearts, their only one. This essential truth, when fully appreciated, makes parenting the most fulfilling thing you'll ever do. Posted by Warvel at 1:30 AM